It's time for some miscellaneous ramblings from the consciousness of Gareth 'Bad Back'/'Sexton Crikey' Hughes.
And if you didn't get either of those references, I wouldn't worry, because you weren't supposed to.
So recently a lot of items of various media have passed through my orbit and so I thought I'd write a bunch of haphazard reviews of all of them.
Wolverine - Good Lord this film is terrible. A lot of ladies are bound to love this film due to the abundance of naked Hugh Jackman involved (no full frontal ladies. Too bad!). Comic book fans - such as one Thomas Mawson - are going to have a brain haemorrhage watching this film. I myself, was a fan of films before I was a fan of comics really and I generally put aside most comic book knowledge before watching a film such as this - they don't even try to be accurate most of the time so why bother?
The thing is, this film sucks on a basic level even aside from that. It's not even a mindless action film because the special effects are pathetic and the script is even worse. However, by far the greatest sin is the inclusion of Deadpool.
Deadpool is one of Marvel Comics' most popular characters. A wisecracking 'mercenary with a mouth,' he's funny, he's for some reason aware that he's in a comic and has two (count 'em), two internal monologues. His sense of humour is what made him great, and the casting of Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool was a masterstroke. Except he doesn't talk. He has a speaking sequence at the start and then they shut him up. Now, I have no problem with the character in the film in principle, it's the use of the Deadpool name that's insulting. What on earth is the point in using Deadpool if you're not going to let him talk? Just create someone from scratch, it'd make far more sense!
Don't see this film unless you want to see Hugh Jackman naked.
Gallows - Grey Britain - Okay that review was a lot longer than I planned it to be, so I'll make this a bit shorter. Gallows are an insanely overhyped hardcore band who for once live up to the speculation. Their first album was a masterpiece, and this is one of the most important albums in British music history. It is ridiculously good, it's textured, it's varied, and it's heart-stopping heavy. If you remotely like any heavy music you need to get this album.
Cloverfield - This film came out a while ago but I'm not that big a moviegoer so I didn't bother with it. Having seen it now I'd say this is a bad film executed in a brilliant way. The hand-held, POV camera way of doing it is a stroke of genius, there is no film like this and it's a piece that's right on the pulse of contemporary society. It is, alas, a film that's going to date extremely easily though. What's more, it doesn't really have a story, which is kind of how something like this would work in real life. However it means the film is oddly unsatisfying at its ending. Put that aside though, and this film is put together and edited perfectly.
One Hour Photo - A truly creepy film, with an astonishing performance from Robin Williams in which he is actually subtle. Yes, you read that right. Robin Williams is subtle. The film doesn't really end, though, it's just got a beginning and a middle, then it stops. Its running time doesn't really do it justice either.
The Nostalgia Critic - This is a guy who makes internet videos. He reviews old, mostly terrible films, and he is extremely funny. His voice may get annoying to some - it even bugs me sometimes - but I'd say anyone who has a passing knowledge of old movies and/or enjoys bad films like I do and/or just enjoys people ranting about things should check this guy out.
When Harry Met Sally - Romantic comedies suck. This one doesn't. This is the only romantic comedy you ever need to see, the rom-com to end all rom-coms... yet it's twenty years old. This film is smarter, funnier and just better than any of the films that followed it, and was made during that unique window when Meg Ryan was still endearing and Billy Crystal was still funny.
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